Oh Family!

Oh Church Family!

I am glad that you are there for me in my good and bad times.  Sorry that the last post was an example of a bad time.  LUCKLY, God is good and I am growing.  I found myself handling things with much more grace this week.  I typically run off to coffee shops to read the Word and knit the when I feel anxiety try to sneak up on me.  Its good for me to be alone yet not by myself.  Like sitting in a coffee shop sipping tea and counting on God alone to get me through a struggle.  It's good for me.

As for the rest of life.  I am taking a break from lesson planning for a few minutes so I decided to Blog a little over a cup of instant coffee.  YES...I allowed myself to have a little coffee (the first in a month probably).  I hope that I don't regret it...but it was such a treat (I made it last as long as possible)...I just couldn't help myself. [Hoping caffeine wont trigger anxiety]


I have been keeping busy...did a 10k walk for disaster relief awareness.  I walked for Pakistan and prayed for them.  We even got to write encouraging notes to the families who have been affected by natural disasters.  I have also been keeping busy hiking (even in the rain...my poor bible got soaked even through my backpack) and spending time with friends (watching muppet movies and cooking together....heading to bookstores...coffee shops...etc.)

Supporting Pakistan and Annie is Supporting Japan

The Countries we were Supporing

Writing to Thailand

One more thing Family:


Please pray for my students.  In building relationships with some of my afterschool students I am finding so much pain and hopelessness.  I was having five minute speaking tests with them to assess their speaking levels.  And I asked the question "What are you Worried about?"  I got so many different answers and some of our speaking tests ended with students in tears.  Midterms are coming up and stress is high for my students.

One girl is having relationship issues that are effecting her self-confidence.  She has spent many class periods sobbing quietly in the back of the room.

One girl is having to choose between friendship and responsibility...and she informed me that she has no mother to ask advice from.  In her class journal she wrote the line, "Help me Carol."  I don't know what to say or do.  All I can do is pray.

One senior told me that she had dreams and goals but right now she has lost her confidence.  She says that she doesn't think she can reach her dream so she only studies because the teacher says to study.  She wants to be done with school but she thinks after graduation is just the beginning of more hard things.

You may know that I have some students writing to the Main Street Kids at our church as penpals.  I see an opportunity opening up with one of my students writing, "I don't believe God but hear a your story. Interest Church."  I am thankful for her willingness to hear the Good News and I pray that God will use the children of our church to bless the children in my class.

Thank You!!!

The main purpose for this blog is to keep in touch with my church family and my friends from back home in the states.

I owe you one giant THANK YOU!  I really cannot express my gratitude.  I have received countless letters and even more promises of prayer in my time of need.

I am still struggling...but I am seeing the good too.  I have been fighting this battle uphill but God has been giving me His strength.  There is such light...and I see God's goodness.

Over the past few days though, I found myself wounded.  I spent the morning mad about it.  I thought, "Why when everything was getting so much better, does something so bad happen?".  I don't want to go into details of what happened here.  I was doing well...then I was hurt.  BUT, I realize....Satan was losing.  It had been over 2 weeks since a panic attack.  My thoughts were straying away from darkness...and then BAM!  I was attacked.  I spent the last 3 days in and out of tears and I even (sorry church family...we are all human) screamed curses all this morning before work...wept...threw a chair...and punched a wall.  I am feeling more depressed now than I did the past couple weeks.

One of the many things that I was mad about was that I was doing so well and then Satan found another way to hurt me.  He couldn't do it inside of me any more so he used circumstances.  Now I find myself wondering about escape...when can I go home...I feel so weak.

So...family.  This is my request.  Continue to pray.  I love your support and cherish it more than you can ever know. I look forward to coming home and seeing you soon.  Pray specifically that I will be given what I need...whether it be space and time to think and grow in Him, or if be a way to keep myself busy in service to Him.  Pray that God will provide the people in my life that can help me to grow closer to Him.  Also, pray that God will give me the strength to be His light here in Korea and wherever else He may send me.  Pray that God will strengthen me, teach me my value in Him and give me endurance to run the race.

Also, pray that He gives me discernment about where to go for summer vacation.  I was thinking of doing some mission work in the Philippines but I want to follow God's leading not my own.

Lastly Family, I leave you with the knowledge that I love you so much.  I value you and every time I speak to my mother she reminds me that I am not alone.  I have the whole Body behind me.  THANK YOU!

The Workplace

Things that happen in my workplace (that you will probably never find happening in America):

• During lunch break your co-workers take your food away...saying it is not good for you and they force you to share their lunches.
• You come to your desk at least 4 times a week to find "an important update" written in a language you can't understand.
• You are expected to attend teachers' meetings without any translation into your native language and are somehow supposed to know what happened in said teacher's meeting.
• You sit at your desk as the sound of children getting beaten with sticks fills the morning air.
• Your male co-workers awkwardly decide to practice their English with you in the bathroom (yes part of the bathroom is Co-Ed...not the part that matters though.)
• The 68 people that you share your office with are mad that you have the hiccups for too long and finally elect a representative to ask to you drink water.
• You are told usually 10 minutes before-hand that something needs to be changed or that you have a meeting.
• Someone will tell you "something important" and when you ask them to repeat it..they say "oh...I don't know."
• If you are Skyping anyone, 3 out of 5 co-workers will dance and wave in the background of your video chat.
• You are given more dietary advice than you can remember.. (this includes stay away from peanut butter and the typical morning question "did you have breakfast?")
• Any "teacher's meetings" that take place after school hours usually involves your co-workers requiring you to come along and watch them get drunk (after which their English skills usually improve).
• WELCOME TO KOREA!!!

Cherry Blossom Festival Photos

 Here they are...as I promised.  :-)

Easter Sunrise in Gwangali

The line for the bus took an hour and fifteen minutes.  The bus ride took an hour.


Seeing Nature was totally worth it.  It felt good to be in a town for a little while...verses the big city.

The group I went with.  My Epik Friends.  They are Epic.  :-P

 Just some examples of the weird "festival food" you can get.  Dried squid and fried birds.
(The squids is actually not bad...kinda like Jerky)

 I opted for the American Style food though.  What is more American than a Corn Dog covered in Fries. :-)  I was soooo happy about that one!

Climbing Cherry Trees!

Thank you God for this Beauty!

Chocolate, Bees, Lessons, and Life

I got a chocolate bar from my friend Laura in the mail.  IT WAS FROM TRADER JOE'S! (Fair trade and organic...yummo!)

So, I snacked a little on it before lunch.

Then I was lesson planning...which is only bearable if there is chocolate...
Then, a bee flew at me (A BIG ONE TOO!) and tried to steal my chocolate (or my face...not sure which)...My co-teacher said that it was attracted to my chocolate...to which I responded that I was also attracted to my chocolate.  I ended up putting it in my desk drawer until the bee was long gone.
Then I broke into it again...and next thing I know...it's gone. (I didn't even share this time.)  And do I have any regrets....NOPE!  Thank you Laura my wonderful sister for sending me my yummy treat.  It almost got me through an entire lesson plan.


The first sprouts of my window garden.  You should see it now.  :-)

So in addition to my window garden and my morning devotions...what makes me happy?  Travel of course!  And I got to travel yesterday to the town of Jinhae for the famous Cherry Blossom Festival.  We got to eat fair food...listen to the military band play anything from ABBA to John Williams...climb cherry trees, and take a ton of photos.  I loved it.  Not a bad Easter if I do say so my self.  :-) (Photos to come...hopefully)

"God Should Fix My Problems"

The statement "God should fix my problems" is one of the biggest lies that I have fallen for for quite some time.  I am going to post up here some quotes from Nancy Lee DeMoss' book.

          "This way of thinking is deceptive on two counts.  First it reduces God to a cosmic genie who exists to please and serve us--a hired servant who comes running to wait on us every time we ring the bell.  This lie sets us up for disillusionment and disappointment with God: If we have any problems that haven't been fixed, then apparently God has not come through for us.
          Second, it suggests that the goal in life is to be free from all problems--to get rid of everything that is difficult or unpleasant.  Our society is conditioned to think that we should not have to live with problems--that every problem must be 'fixed'."

          "Living an obedient life does spare us from many problems that are the natural consequences of a life lived apart from God and His ways.  But that does not mean that those who follow Christ will be exempt from problems.
          The truth is, life is hard.  We live in a fallen world.  Even those who have been redeemed live in earthly bodies and deal with the realities of temptation, sin (both ours and others'), disease, loss, pain, and death.  Becoming Christian--even being a mature godly Christian--does not wrap us up in some sort of celestial cocoon where we are immune to pain.  Not until God makes a new heaven and new earth will we be totally free from the ravages of sin.  Until then, there will be tears, sorrows, pressures, and problems."

          "We want God to fix all our problems.  God says instead, "I have a purpose for your problems.  I want to use your problems to change you an reveal My grace and power to the world."  That is the Truth--and the Truth will set you free."

AMEN!     So no matter what problem I am facing I need to remember that even if God doesn't fix it...He is enough to get me through it.  My God is enough.