Keeping Busy

I  am sitting at my desk with my head pounding a little.  I am tired.  I have taught hard all week and even got some lesson planning done.  I am a little bit ahead for now.  And I want rest.

I am ready to go back to Thailand.  I want to see my girls at the Girls Home so bad!  I want to be back to the point where God is teaching me to rest and to be still.  I want to be in a place where I don't have to fear being alone, panic attacks, depression, and the other myriad of lies and pains that are besieging my being right now.

But, read Psalms 42.

David longs for the past.  He feels impatient, empty, depressed, rejected, deeply discouraged, heart broken, lost, forsaken, and even dying ("pierce me like a fatal wound").  But despite it all, he crys out to God, returns his focus to Him, listens for Him, and puts his hope in Him.

I am longing for Thailand.  I am longing for a time in my life that is past.  I am longing for the lessons I learned there.  But I passed those lessons.  I am passed that point in my life.  God wants to teach me new lessons.  These lessons are much harder to learn...less comfy.  But I am right where God wants me.  THANK YOU FATHER!!!! (yes...I teared as I typed that.  It is really hard to praise Him when we are hurting. But I praise Him none-the-less.)

As for my life right now.
I have been keeping busy so that I don't have too long to think.  This is no way to live...but it is how I am surviving right now.

So busy stuff....I have met a new couple at the church, Alex and Annie.  They are super sweet South Africans who took me to the Kite Festival last Sunday after church. Also, we had very delicious Shabu Shabu which is a 3 course Vietnamese meal.  SOOOO DELICIOUS!

Also, I have started hosting bible study in my apartment.  I am glad for this...because I can be helpful and make happy memories in my home.

And tonight as soon as I am out of school, I will run off to meet my friend Elaine to go see the Lotte Giants play.  This will be my first baseball game in Korea and I am rather excited to pass the time in this way.

As for school...I have been teaching afterschool classes everyday now.  It's not as bad as I thought it would be.  I have 20 students less than last year's class, and that makes it much more manageable.  I can focus more on each student and actually do fun activities.  My normal classes are alright.  This week's lesson is a little boring but it is something they need to learn.  Next week, I am giving them a review game with candy as the prize, so they best be good.

I am working more on my one on one relationships with my students.  It's hard to have many since I see approx 780 students combined.  I have become facebook friends with a few and they chat with me there to practice thier English. Also, many come to my desk for chat time...and I try to put aside whatever I am working on and give the girls the time that they need.   I just remember that what made my favorite teachers the best when I was growing up didn't have anything to do with lessons or classrooms.  And I am just really trying to be a good teacher.

I am reading Daniel right now...and we have a lot in common.  We are both in a foreign land, trying to do the best we can do so that we may bring glory to God.

The Photos I Promised

(Not all of these are mine...te he he...I am a photo thief!)

Above:  Me being Cutesy Korean with my cake.  As I said..the bus ride to Yeongdo was a little hard on it.  But it was sooo tasty none-the-less.  We almost ate the whole thing!

Hanging out with Abi at the Charlie Brown cafe.  Home of the most tasty sandwiches.  I really hope I can find this place again and try out thier breakfast one weekend.  I hear it is one of the best western style ones you can get here.

  

 Blowing out the Candles on my Icecream cake.  As I said before...the locals clapped for me.  It was a great birthday!

The B-day Post

So...I have finished with classes today and thought I should catch you up on the birthday weekend.  I am sitting at my desk dipping Hershey's chocolate in my PeterPan peanut butter and enjoying the day...  Happy! (Thanks mommy for the chocolate and peanut butter)...so B-day Weekend:

Friday:

I finished classes and headed home.  I worked out a bit at the gym and then went to Yeongdo Island to spend the evening with my really awesome fellow "Firefly" lover, Elaine.  I brought with me the cake that I found on my desk that morning with a note from my co-worker that said "Happy Birthday to You".  The cake got kinda squished on the trip.  I mean...a 30 min subway and a 20 min bus ride don't do wonders for a cake..especially if you don't get a seat on the bus.  So anyway...we went out to dinner at my favorite place on Yeongdo (ok..it's the only place I have eaten on Yeongdo...BUT IT'S DARN GOOD!!!!!)  Then we ate cake and enjoyed a few episodes of "Firefly" (with popcorn as all things in life should be done).  Elaine walked me sleepily back to the bus stop, umbrella in hand...and I went home.

Saturday:

I spent the morning running errands instead of going to the Gym as I should have.  Anyway.  During those errand running I found myself in possession of the much coveted "Philadelphia Cream Cheese"...THAT STUFF IS AMAZING!  And it's rare here too.  Oh boy!!!!!  And I also bought some supplies for my window garden.  I got back to my apartment and made my no-bake cheesecake.  OH MAN!  I loved it sooo much.  I might just have to do that again.  SO...it's my birthday so I met with my friend Abi for a late lunch.  We ate at the Charlie Brown Cafe and had an amazing Panini and a Blueberry shake.  SO good!  Then we went to the bookstore for a while followed by a relaxing cup of tea on this rainy day.  That evening we met up with 3 other friends and the five of us ate Indian food.  I love this place.  They even just opened up an Indian food market above the restaurant and I ended up leaving with a can of Saag.  I mean...that stuff goes with anything!  Next on our birthday agenda was NoreBang.  Literally you rent out a room in this building of rooms.  And in this room is a couch, a TV, a book of karaoke songs, two mics, and tambourines.  You click in the song you want and a disco light turns on and you sing and dance like fools with no-one to judge you.  It was quite fun!  Next we went to Baskin Robbins.  We got an ice cream cake...lit the candles...and sang "Happy Birthday to You!".  After the song, all the people in the shop clapped (they recognized the tune).  It was so funny!  I was turning red because I am shy.  Next the five of us DEVOURED the cake...YUMMO!  And headed to one of those goofy photo-booth places.  We dressed up in wigs and hats and made a goofy time of it.  It was a lot of fun.

And that was my birthday weekend.
:-)  PHOTOS TO COME!

To start with...check out this video.  That face is what I get at least once a class and many many times in between classes when I ask my students, "How are you?".

So....Life.

I am still stuggling.  I don't have anxiety attacks anymore...YAY!  But I still am feeling really depressed most days.  I am able to function  though (wake up...go to school...mope at desk) and have been trying to keep busy.  Anytime I think too much is a bad time for me...so I am trying to keep my mind busy too with crossword puzzles and stuff like that.  I am ready for this phase to end.

On a happier note.  I am making serious plans to find the Costco here.  I want to get a block of cheese and some triscuts.  I AM GONNA DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to get well in the mind.

Seoul Food

So...I went to Seoul.

I stayed with a friend, Katie, in Incheon (a city near Seoul).  She picked me up from the train station and we went out for pizza (decided by paper, rock, scissors...the only right way to make a difficult choice) and then went to Seoul Tower.  Super cute...lovey-dovy...worth doing to say you did it...but you really can't beat the mountain views from Busan.  The next day we went to Body World (a collection of plasticised bodies for the sake of teaching science of anatomy).  I had a friend go when the exhibit was in Atlanta and she said it was good.  I was like..okay...why not?

So... Katie leaves the exhibit to go to the restroom.  She comes back and says, "Hey if you want to see something strange/interesting, there is this group of foreigners downstairs...a couple black guys...a couple white guys...and a bunch of video cameras and microphones.  I think they are famous..."



I was like, "Katie...something strange/interesting...haha...we are looking at a traveling exhibit of dead people.  What is more strange?"  I thought nothing of the "famous people"...perhaps filming some documentary or something.  Katie couldn't shake the thought that she should know the people...so she went looking for them and couldn't find them.  Then as we were getting coffee afterwards she asked the ticket collectors of the exhibit, "Who were those people with the video cameras?"  They replied, "Oh...They were Black Eyed-Peas!"  AND WE CALL OURSELVES AMERICANS!!!!  Ha ha ha...I picked dead people over living/famous ones.

OH!  And I almost got in a fist fight on the metro!  This guy was hanging posters every couple feet in the car.  He goes up behind Katie and elbows her in the back pushing her out of the way so he could hang his poster.  He muttered, "Waygook" (Foreigner) with disdain.  I said, "Chincha?" (Really?) And he went off muttering bad stuff at us and glared.  I said it again, "Chincha?"  Then he got up in my face and blew in my face then took off down the car.  I WAS LIVID!  But what could I do.  I just stood there shaking.

The next day we went to Insadong...a great place to get crafts and Kkul Tarae (a fermented honey desert made for the king and his guests).  After that we went to Itewon, which literally means foreigner street.  We ate at an All American Diner.  The menu was all in English...not a lick of Hangul in sight.  I loved it!  Ha ha.

Then we went on the army base for a prayer meeting at the church.  It was awesome!!!  And this was followed by visiting another EPIK teacher who was having a birthday in Incheon.  It was nice to catch-up a little with the few Incheon folks I know.

Overall, I say that Seoul has better food, hands down.  But, I think it's too crowded and the people are really rude.  Also, Busan has better senery.  I am greatful to live where I do.



Katie and I in Insadong



Unfortunately, I had a five hour train ride back to Busan to get myself worked up about coming back.  Mainly, I have equated being here to being unhappy...but that is a mistake.  I need to give myself some time to re-adjust to Korea.  I have been out of work for almost two months now...and this purposeless-ness may be adding to my anxiety.  I have been assured that once I get back into a routine, I will find myself in a better place.  Well, we will see.  I can't pretend to know what is going on in my life, what is causing my anxiety, and how it can be fixed.  All I can do is fight to stay positive and live one day at a time.

How's that for an update?